First, note the spelling of "DiLalla"... My dad's last name was spelled DiLalla, but on my birth certificate my last name is listed -- as -- DeLalla!
I might add that my Uncle Vince's (my father's brother!) last name was also spelled, DeLalla!
In any event, rest assured that I am of the DeLalla clan, in fact I am second in line, so to speak, of being the Patriarch of what is remaining of the DeLalla family, with my cousin, Richard, being about one year older than I (his 76 to my 75...).
******
At the time of my mom's passing, our James was 15 years old, and now, he is 30 years old with his own -- growing -- family!
Knowing that love never dies, I'm sure that my dear mother is still watching over our family, especially James'... And, I hope, that when I leave this earth, our good God will allow me to see my mom again, as well as watch over and protect my family here on earth...
I could write a book about my mom, and what a mother is: the life-bearer and the heart of the family. But I'll admit, that if I did attempt to write a book about my mom, it would fall way short of what love, talents and teachings she handed down to me and my (now-deceased) brother.
One incident that I vividly remember, is when my brother joined the Navy in 1960 at the tender age of 18... Considered an adult, that still didn't matter to my mom as she cried because she knew that she had to let him go to serve his country and probably figured that she couldn't do anything about his joining anyway!
On the other hand, when I wanted to join the Air Force (my first choice was the Army, but I changed my mind shortly after the Air Force recruiter came to our school; he was a good salesman!) right out of high school, I was technically still not considered an adult and had to have my parent's consent to join. Three days after I started basic training, I turned 18... But again, my mom shed some tears because she had to let her "baby" go and serve his country, too.
I think my mom was very concerned about my brother's moral and spiritual state, knowing that before he joined the Navy, he already had gotten in with some local, somewhat shady characters from "around the block." I knew some of those guys, and yes, they were "shady"... But one did become a New York City cop and served for many years. I also remember that some of those very same guys would sing doo-wop oldies "on the corner," as well as have some explosive firework displays, every year, on the Fourth...
When the Cuban Missile Crises reared its ugly head, my mom was on pins and needles, knowing that the aircraft carrier he was stationed on was in the waters around Guantanamo Bay, Cuba...
This was not the only arrow to pierce her gentle, caring heart... When I got my orders for Vietnam, her heart sunk, as events were plastered on the 6 o'clock "news" every day of the week, and that I was going headlong into that war-torn country. And although I was not physically wounded at the time I came back to "the world," I was a changed man, and they knew it.
The agony and tribulations my brother and I put my mom through, I can only imagine, but the worst for her was yet to come...
She had to witness her offspring slowly slipping away from the faith, and sliding into a potential eternal abyss, not living good and decent lives, but succumbing to the temptations of the world, the flesh and the devil...
Like the Prodigal son, I returned; my brother on the other hand "half-returned," but then fell into a deadly relationship -- another painful arrow. If only my brother had realized...
Those are only some of the numerous events that she had to put up with... As you can imagine, there were many others, such as the death of her husband (my dad), and my brother... Revealing the news of their passing were the toughest things I have ever had to do in my life...
Another factoid: My mom could have been an incredible, professional chef if she had decided to go that route! There is little doubt in my mind that she was the best, most talented cook in all the clan -- and I mean among all our other relatives and friends combined!
That's the primary reason I became a little "chunky" and had to shed some weight before I entered the military -- and I did, 50 pounds worth!
******
Kathy, James and I, visited my mom on Christmas, 2007... We had a great time; I remember we had my mom laughing and filled with joy at having her James nearby... We played games and ate chocolate...
But before our next visit, the hospital nurse called our home at about 10:30pm, on the 26th, and informed us of my dear mom's passing...
(She always wore her Brown Scapula, and her Rosary was on her little movable table -- she was a child of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and that is why I am supremely confident that she is in, or soon will be, in the Heavenly Beatitude.)
This was the most trying and sad time of our lives, but as Catholics, we have the hope -- and promise -- that those who love Him and keep His Commandments, will have eternal life. What more can we ask for?? I can also say with certainty, that she stayed the course and finished the race (St. Paul)...
Please say an Ave Maria for my mom...
Pray for strength and honor!
Viva Christo Rey! Bl. Fr. Miguel Pro, Fr. Emil Kapaun and Fr. Vincent Capodanno, pray for us...
St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle...
Gene DeLalla
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